God Will Be Mad

Red hurt his (middle) finger, so I’m putting a band aid on it, for him.

Red: Oh no, mom! God is going to be mad at me!!

Me: Why?!

Red: ‘Cause this means I hate God. (Sticking his middle finger up at me.)

Me; It’s okay. God understands you hurt yourself, and we’re just putting a band aid on your finger.

Red: Good. I sure don’t want Him mad at me.

#ToddlerAdventures #ThisKidLovesGod #HesGoingToWorryAllDay


Heaven From Red’s Eyes

On our flight to Jamaica, I sat next to Red. As we were ascending, I told him, “Hey bud, look out the window. We’re above the clouds now.”

Red: I don’t see anybody up here?!

Me: What? We’re up really high, bud. See, those are clouds down there.

Red: Yeah, I see. Aren’t there lots of people up here?

Me: What do you mean?

Red: I thought Heaven was above the clouds. I don’t see anyone.

Me: Oh! Yes, Heaven is above the clouds. But it’s up really high. We won’t go that high.

Red: Oh,(as a look of sadness comes over him) I was really hoping to see your mom.


What was I thinking?!

Don’t ever try to paint when you’re home alone with 3 young children. Just don’t. It’s never a good idea. P.S…Pay the extra money for the paint + primer high cover paint. You’ll thank yourself. P.P.S….Don’t ask the childrens’ opinion on the final product. It doesn’t count anyway.

Where’s my wine?!

Just One of Those Days…

As we’re driving to school Red tells me that his movie is done and would like me to start it over.  I restart the movie and…

Me: Is it playing?

Red: What?

Me: The movie.  Is your movie playing?

Red: Where?

(I bite my tongue…)

Blue: On the tv, Bubba.  Are you awake?!

Red: Yeah, yeah, it playing.

Five minutes later…..

Red: Mom, could you please hit play on my movie. It still not playing.

Blue: What’s wrong with you dude?  Mom, him not right this morning.

Hers Not Been That Bad…

As I’m working in the kitchen, I hear Red in the other room talking to “Elfie” about Santa bringing Pink mulch for Christmas.  When he walks in the kitchen…

Me: Buddy, did you tell Elfie that Pink wants mulch for Christmas?!

Red: I told him that hers only wants a wittle bit of mulch.

Me:  Mulch?!

Red: Yeah, mom, mulch!

I continue to stare at him, not really sure where he would come up with mulch, or what he could possibly be trying to say.

Red: You know mom, that ‘tuff dad puts on the grill?!

Me: Oh!  You mean charcoal!  Coal…

Red: Yeah, that too.  I told Elfie hers not been that bad.  She only wants a wittle bit.  Hers wants some dolls, not just mulch.

Me: Ok.  Got it.  I sure hope Elfie listens to you.

Butt Paper is Not Decor

Driving to school today, we saw a house that had been tp-ed….


Blue: Mom!  What is that?

Me: That house got toliet papered, buddy.

Blue: What in the world?  Why they do that?!

Red: I sink, I sink it’s their Halloween descorations.

Blue: They not do a good job.

Red: Yeah.  They need monsters.  Not butt paper.